Happiness. That all I really want. Not pleasure, not comfort, not meaning but happiness. All the pleasure and comfort in the world is worthless all the meaning in the world is not satisfying unless it is enjoyed by a heart that is open, free, and pure of any trace of sadness.
Happiness is a problem. I am taught to expect and demand the best for myself in this world. I deserve everything I want, I invest my effort and I am entitled to the fruit of my labor. I am therefore never happy, for as much as I have, as blessed as I am, I deserve more.
Prayer is an excellent therapy for this problem.
When I stand alone before Hashem I could be honest with myself; I can confront the reality that I am not as good, or as kind, or as patient, or as loving, or as giving as I should be.
I offer praise to Hashem for I realize that everything I have is a gift form him. He is the one who gives me life, sustains every living being, and shines (the sun) upon the earth and its inhabitants (and upon me) with compassion.
I read the prayer carefully, keep thinking about his kindness to me, and I practice appreciating the gifts he gives me.
Then, for the rest of the day, I am happy.
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