You are the kind of guy who, in Yeshivah, would be called a “kabolas Ol’nik”. Your motivated to do the right thing, and to follow Hashem’s instructions as much as possible. Your not in love, or in awe, or overtaken by the beauty of it all.
Some misunderstand you. They pity you; they assume that you put yourself aside for Hashem leaving no room for personal satisfaction and meaning. Some may even suspect that you have a low self esteem; after all you devote yourself to someone other then yourself.
Nothing is farther from the truth. In fact you hold yourself in high regard and you take yourself very seriously. You understand your own significance, your actions acutely make a difference; Hashem does care, really.
So the heart of the guy who’s in love with Hashem is drawn to Hashem with great passion, but that same heart is sometimes filled with doubt: does he really care? If I do my own thing for an hour would it make a big difference? Do my choices have meaning?
You don’t have these doubts. You understand the importance of every aspect of your life. You respect yourself. After all you're a “kabolas Ol’nik”.
(Bi'ha'loscha Atere"s)
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