The True You

People usually define themselves by their talents; the intellectual likes to think of himself as a thinker, the good hearted as kind, etc.

The problem is that these are talents not the essence. We posses them but they are not the true I; they are the garments we put on to look and feel good. When you want to discover someone's true personality, you must dig beneath the surface. You don't know your friend until you see him in a bad mood and under pressure. 

The self can only be discovered, according to Chasidic Philosophy, when the talents are hidden. To figure out who she really is, the intellectual must look at her self when she is not able to think properly, how does she react then? The good hearted person must look at himself when his kindness does not shine; only then can the essence express itself without the filter of the talents.

When we say to ourselves "I am not acting myself" we mean to say "I am not acting the way I like to define myself". For only when you are outside the comfort zone of your talented self can you meet your true self.

It is scary to meet the self. We are afraid to even look; were afraid to discover what we will find under the hood of our personalities.

Yet, when we do just that, when we find ourselves forced to do something way out of our league of expertise and comfort, we get to meet our true personality that is so much deeper and more profound then what we expected.

This then is the beauty of exile. When we don’t understand that G-dlyness is the true reality, when we are in love with the world and not with the divine, when the qualities of our soul are hidden, only then can our essence emerge. Only then can we be assured that our commitment to Hashem and his Torah is not a hobby that we engage in because were good at it, rather it's our essence. 

Only after we demonstrate that our essence is connect to Hashem  under all circumstances  are we worthy of receving the Torah. Only then can we be assured that the essence of our soul, revealed during the Egyptian exile, Is awake and listening to the word of Hashem. 

(inspired by Leku"s shmos vol. 16 sicha of Shmos - 24 Teves)