Atzmus and Giluyim

The Tzemach Tzedek would say that when the Alter Rebbe was in an ecstatic trance, the saying, "I don't want your Gan Eden or your Olam Habaoh just you yourself." would be heard from his mouth.

And I was thinking about this and what it meant. Now the Alter Rebbe was not asking to experience everything, just Atzmus. So it seems that either G"E and OH"B are an obstacle to that experience or he didn't want to get sidetracked.

What is the difference?

If it was just practical, not to get sidetracked, then it is conceivable to achieve both. But if G"E and OH"B are an obstacle it might be humanly impossible to experience both and this will only be achieved at the coming of the Moshiach. V'Einey Kol Basar...

It seems to be that this is similar to the difference between Giluyim and Atzmus. That the experience of G"E etc. actually inhibit the ability to experience G-d as opposed to G-dliness. Menachem tells me that he doesn't know a source in Chassidus for this but I have touched on it in an earlier post how they are pretty much mutually exclusive (G-d's Essence).

It seems like this follows true with the limitations of the mind but with a different twist. The more we understand and think the further we naturally move from feeling. And even more so from belief. Therefore we stress L'Maaleh M'Taam V'Daas. Yet we can't just toss away the mind and try to become a Posheter Yid. So what is the solution?

If we really want to experience G-dliness not just a revelation, how do we do it?

The Rebbe stressed that since we know about this story it is not just a nice biographical story of the Alter Rebbe rather it was related to us so that we know that this is a level that we can all aspire to.

Can we just aspire to be connected to Atzmus or can we actualize this connection. Here is not the place to get into a discussion on which is greater, Torah or Mitzvos, but I feel that through doing a Mitzvah we are not interested in, that we get no personal enjoyment from and that we don't really understand, it is there that we connect to Hashem the M'Tzaveh. We do it not because we need to be good, as we all know how bad we truly act at times, rather we do it just because.

And this is a Maaleh about our generation. In previous generations there were Giluyim, whether from the Aibershter or through a M'Mutzeh HaM'Chaber or from ones own lofty level through pristine personal conduct. But nowadays, we see nothing, we feel nothing and we know nothing.

Yet, we learn Torah and do Mitzvos. This is Atzmus.

This is similar to something I heard about how is it possible for our generation to bring Moshiach. The Mashal is given about a midget on a giant's shoulders. And I don't really understand it, true our Z'Chusim add up but what about our demerits. And here is not the place to go into the concept of two G-dly souls vs. one animalistic soul because we are not talking about combining sins rather sins existing.

And I heard an explanation (we know most sparks were already elevated while the Yidden were still in Egypt ( I always joke that yeah that's because they just took the easy ones and left us all the hard ones). But this brings us to another question. Is it really possible to be able to elevate a spark that a previous generation was not able to? Is it just geographical, that we are in more Farvorfaneh places in the world than before?) The Avodah that we do now is not just geographically different or quantitatively greater, rather it is a qualitatively deeper, more precious battle that we are engaged in. The challenges that we face no Jewish society has ever faced and had the success that we are having.

And that is why we are bringing Moshiach.

So why are we called midgets? Maybe it is because we don't recognize our true greatness.