Innocent Vs. Deep

We heard it all already. We know that someone who sins and returns to Hashem is greater the Tzadik who never sinned. We heard the explanation that a relationship that suffers a setback and then overcomes the obstacle is deeper, more profound and more passionate then a relationship that was never tested.

We said it so many times we now look down at the relationship that never suffered a fight. We can’t figure out why anybody would want to be a Tzaidk – the boring relationship without any bumps.  

What we are missing is innocence.

Yes, a couple who learned to dig dipper to overcome the fight indeed have a deeper relationship. But the Tzadik, is like the newlyweds who’s relationship is innocent. Who know nothing other then love for each other, who cannot fathom any weakening of their love.  

We start out with an innocent and fragile love. Shattering it is a tragedy. Period. Yet Hashen, in his kindness, shows us how to make the best of a tragedy and discover the deep love that the newlyweds cannot experience.

Joseph and Forgiveness

Rabbi Sacks credits Joseph with being the first person in history to forgive as we understand the word. Did Joseph forgive his mother-in-law and would be seducer on the same grounds that he did his brothers?

I think that If indeed Joseph did forgive her, the Torah does not say so explicitly, as the Torah says the greater novelty: he forgave his brothers. I think it's much harder to forgive family then strangers. You expect more from family (especially from Jacob's children) and the pain caused by family is therefore much greater. 

A spiritual orphan

The Rebbe was handing out quarters for anyone who worked in summer camp. A 20 year old girl wanted to get a coin very much. The problem was she worked in a school with the bookkeeping, she didn't work in camp. On the other hand she was recording camp payments because the school had a summer camp. She decided to go.

She's about 3 people from the Rebbe and her father see's her. His face turns white. She realizes she made a big mistake. In her mind she hears her father say "mit dem bistu nisht meiner"! He's disowning her! "Should I still go? I'm doing such a terrible thing! Should I get out of line? The Rebbe will definitely call me back! I just wish the ground under me would open up..."

When she's standing in front of the Rebbe, the Rebbe gives her a huge smile. The Rebbe's whole face lit up. Actually the whole 770 lit up! And the Rebbe said "Du bist doch meiner"!

Someone asked her afterwards what did the Rebbe tell you? She answered: "Ah gezunten zumer, Brachah vehatzlacha". 

"But the Rebbe said that to me too! What else did the Rebbe say?"

But how can she say it?

On the way home her father didn't say anything. It must have been the compromise: I won't scream at you, but I'm not going to ask either...

Bderech efsher 3 ways to understand this story

1. The Rebbe cares so much about this girl. She's about to get it over the head big time, so the Rebbe steps in and saves her.

2. The way the Baal hamaaseh took it: The Rebbe was saying "what are you afraid of? That he's disowning you? But you're mine"! 

3. The Rebbe actually agreed with the father. She should never have gone on line. And she would have been called out on it by the Rebbe. But the moment she felt completely worthless, and she was a nothing. And she was disowned at that moment she became the Rebbe's. 

כי אבי ואמי עזבוני וה' יאספני

Inspiration

Back in the day inspiration was the drive.

When I was in Yeshivah I woke up in the morning with the hope of being inspired. If I managed to inspire myself I considered it a good day, if not, no big deal, I would just wait for the next day.

Now that I am out of Yeshivah for a few years, I discovered that I don’t have the luxury of waiting for inspiration. I have a family, co-workers, responsibilities. I can’t afford to wait for the inspiration to come - especially that the inspiration is more elusive now that I am out in the world.

Instead of inspiration I now rely on consistency. I make sure to do my spiritual exercise daily - even of I am not in the mood. Some times I get inspired, but even if iff not I don’t feel empty. I may feel uninspired but I feel connected.

Inspiration used to be the drive to achieve, now inspiration is the reward for consistent achievement.     

The Stage and the Drama

“It doesn't seem to me that this fantastically marvelous universe … can merely be a stage so that God can watch human beings struggle for good and evil — which is the view that religion has. The stage is too big for the drama."

This quote, from Richard Feynmen, is so powerful it, caused Herman Wouk to write a book to address it. I am neither a writer nor a scientist so I won’t write a book, but as a student of Judaism I write the following short point.  

Yes, if the purpose of creation is merely for “G-d to watch the human being struggle for good and evil” then perhaps Feinman has a point; but, like so many others, this great scientist failed to discover the depth of the religious position.  

The Kabbalh gives two reasons for creation: the second reason is in order for the Human being to “create a dwelling place for Hashem in the lowest realm”, this, in other words, is what Feinman calls the struggle with good and evil. The Kabbalah, however, also offers another reason for G-d creating the world: “so that they will know him”, meaning that before creation there is nobody to appreciate G-d’s greatness. He wants to be known. So he creates a universe to so there will be a being outside himself to know him.

In order to help a finite being to “know” and fathom an infinite G-d, for the creation to understand that the creator is beyond anything in can comprehend, G-d creates a universe too vast for the human mind to grasp, to serve as a parable for G-d's infinity.

[Perhaps we can argue that both reasons for the creation are in fact two sides of the same coin: in order for the Human being to understand that he was created with a mission bring good to this world (the first reason) he must realize that there is a creator, a creator that is infinity and unknowable, a glimpse of his greatness is knowable from the universe (the second reason)].

So yes, the drama absolutely requires a great stage. For without the vast stage the actors may forget about the author and drop the drama mid play.     

On Sadness and Joy

Tisha Biav is the saddest day of the Jewish year. Yet, as a child, the saddest point of the year was the night after Thisha Biav. 

I would watch my father break his fast and wonder what changed? Why is the mourning over? Was the temple rebuilt?

This was in stark contrast to the joy that we all felt on Motzay Yom Kippur. As we sang and watched the Rebbe during Napoleon's march the awe of Yom kipput was transformed to intense joy. But after Tisha Biav, there was no reason to celebrate.

Then Shabbaos Nachamu would come around and then we would go to the Avraham Fried concert to celebrate the season. But it always felt strange to me, after all why and how are we comforted of the reality on the ground did not change since Tisha Biav?

Last week when I read what I think us the most powerful Mammar in Lekutey Toarh - the Mammar for Parshas Divarim - I thought I may have the answer. 

The Alter Rebbe explains that the verse “You shall love your G-d with your whole heart” refers - not to the conventional interpretation which is with both your good and evil inclinations, but - with both parts of your heart, with your joy and with your sadness. For if you are joyous because of material success and sad because of material lose then you don’t really love Hashem. “With all your heart” means that you are happy because you are close to Hashem and you feel sad when you feel far from Hashem.

- By the way, this one teaching includes, in my opinion, everything that Chasidus asks of a person - 

Perhaps this is the comfort. We are comforted on Shabbos Nachamu because we feel close to Hashem trough reading the Haftorah which describes his great love to us. And when we feel his love - especially after the destruction - we can fins comfort and joy amidst tjhe destruction around us. And may the Joy propel us to the day when there will no longer be ant destruction - with the coming of Moshiach.

Shabbos by the Ohel

I was asked to speak about Shabbos by the Rebbe after I came back Gimmel Tammuz. It's not easy to speak about etc. Just one point:
It's at the very same time extremely communal and extremely personal. You're sitting by a farbrengen even with your friends. You're talking, listening, interacting. Very communal. At the same time there's so much introspection. You're in a place of truth and you try with every fiber of your being to be truthful and internalize anything you should be 'taking'. At the same time you're very confused and conflicted because, the time and place is too holy, too lofty, too true.
So at the very same moment that you're interacting with people, smiling, conversing, farbrenging it's a most personal moment. And it continues for 25 plus hours. Communal and personal simultaneously.