Innocent Vs. Deep

We heard it all already. We know that someone who sins and returns to Hashem is greater the Tzadik who never sinned. We heard the explanation that a relationship that suffers a setback and then overcomes the obstacle is deeper, more profound and more passionate then a relationship that was never tested.

We said it so many times we now look down at the relationship that never suffered a fight. We can’t figure out why anybody would want to be a Tzaidk – the boring relationship without any bumps.  

What we are missing is innocence.

Yes, a couple who learned to dig dipper to overcome the fight indeed have a deeper relationship. But the Tzadik, is like the newlyweds who’s relationship is innocent. Who know nothing other then love for each other, who cannot fathom any weakening of their love.  

We start out with an innocent and fragile love. Shattering it is a tragedy. Period. Yet Hashen, in his kindness, shows us how to make the best of a tragedy and discover the deep love that the newlyweds cannot experience.

Joseph and Forgiveness

Rabbi Sacks credits Joseph with being the first person in history to forgive as we understand the word. Did Joseph forgive his mother-in-law and would be seducer on the same grounds that he did his brothers?

I think that If indeed Joseph did forgive her, the Torah does not say so explicitly, as the Torah says the greater novelty: he forgave his brothers. I think it's much harder to forgive family then strangers. You expect more from family (especially from Jacob's children) and the pain caused by family is therefore much greater. 

A spiritual orphan

The Rebbe was handing out quarters for anyone who worked in summer camp. A 20 year old girl wanted to get a coin very much. The problem was she worked in a school with the bookkeeping, she didn't work in camp. On the other hand she was recording camp payments because the school had a summer camp. She decided to go.

She's about 3 people from the Rebbe and her father see's her. His face turns white. She realizes she made a big mistake. In her mind she hears her father say "mit dem bistu nisht meiner"! He's disowning her! "Should I still go? I'm doing such a terrible thing! Should I get out of line? The Rebbe will definitely call me back! I just wish the ground under me would open up..."

When she's standing in front of the Rebbe, the Rebbe gives her a huge smile. The Rebbe's whole face lit up. Actually the whole 770 lit up! And the Rebbe said "Du bist doch meiner"!

Someone asked her afterwards what did the Rebbe tell you? She answered: "Ah gezunten zumer, Brachah vehatzlacha". 

"But the Rebbe said that to me too! What else did the Rebbe say?"

But how can she say it?

On the way home her father didn't say anything. It must have been the compromise: I won't scream at you, but I'm not going to ask either...

Bderech efsher 3 ways to understand this story

1. The Rebbe cares so much about this girl. She's about to get it over the head big time, so the Rebbe steps in and saves her.

2. The way the Baal hamaaseh took it: The Rebbe was saying "what are you afraid of? That he's disowning you? But you're mine"! 

3. The Rebbe actually agreed with the father. She should never have gone on line. And she would have been called out on it by the Rebbe. But the moment she felt completely worthless, and she was a nothing. And she was disowned at that moment she became the Rebbe's. 

כי אבי ואמי עזבוני וה' יאספני

Inspiration

Back in the day inspiration was the drive.

When I was in Yeshivah I woke up in the morning with the hope of being inspired. If I managed to inspire myself I considered it a good day, if not, no big deal, I would just wait for the next day.

Now that I am out of Yeshivah for a few years, I discovered that I don’t have the luxury of waiting for inspiration. I have a family, co-workers, responsibilities. I can’t afford to wait for the inspiration to come - especially that the inspiration is more elusive now that I am out in the world.

Instead of inspiration I now rely on consistency. I make sure to do my spiritual exercise daily - even of I am not in the mood. Some times I get inspired, but even if iff not I don’t feel empty. I may feel uninspired but I feel connected.

Inspiration used to be the drive to achieve, now inspiration is the reward for consistent achievement.