G-dliness or Holiness?

Which is greater G-dliness or Holiness?

Atzmus and Giluyim

The Tzemach Tzedek would say that when the Alter Rebbe was in an ecstatic trance, the saying, "I don't want your Gan Eden or your Olam Habaoh just you yourself." would be heard from his mouth.

And I was thinking about this and what it meant. Now the Alter Rebbe was not asking to experience everything, just Atzmus. So it seems that either G"E and OH"B are an obstacle to that experience or he didn't want to get sidetracked.

What is the difference?

If it was just practical, not to get sidetracked, then it is conceivable to achieve both. But if G"E and OH"B are an obstacle it might be humanly impossible to experience both and this will only be achieved at the coming of the Moshiach. V'Einey Kol Basar...

It seems to be that this is similar to the difference between Giluyim and Atzmus. That the experience of G"E etc. actually inhibit the ability to experience G-d as opposed to G-dliness. Menachem tells me that he doesn't know a source in Chassidus for this but I have touched on it in an earlier post how they are pretty much mutually exclusive (G-d's Essence).

It seems like this follows true with the limitations of the mind but with a different twist. The more we understand and think the further we naturally move from feeling. And even more so from belief. Therefore we stress L'Maaleh M'Taam V'Daas. Yet we can't just toss away the mind and try to become a Posheter Yid. So what is the solution?

If we really want to experience G-dliness not just a revelation, how do we do it?

The Rebbe stressed that since we know about this story it is not just a nice biographical story of the Alter Rebbe rather it was related to us so that we know that this is a level that we can all aspire to.

Can we just aspire to be connected to Atzmus or can we actualize this connection. Here is not the place to get into a discussion on which is greater, Torah or Mitzvos, but I feel that through doing a Mitzvah we are not interested in, that we get no personal enjoyment from and that we don't really understand, it is there that we connect to Hashem the M'Tzaveh. We do it not because we need to be good, as we all know how bad we truly act at times, rather we do it just because.

And this is a Maaleh about our generation. In previous generations there were Giluyim, whether from the Aibershter or through a M'Mutzeh HaM'Chaber or from ones own lofty level through pristine personal conduct. But nowadays, we see nothing, we feel nothing and we know nothing.

Yet, we learn Torah and do Mitzvos. This is Atzmus.

This is similar to something I heard about how is it possible for our generation to bring Moshiach. The Mashal is given about a midget on a giant's shoulders. And I don't really understand it, true our Z'Chusim add up but what about our demerits. And here is not the place to go into the concept of two G-dly souls vs. one animalistic soul because we are not talking about combining sins rather sins existing.

And I heard an explanation (we know most sparks were already elevated while the Yidden were still in Egypt ( I always joke that yeah that's because they just took the easy ones and left us all the hard ones). But this brings us to another question. Is it really possible to be able to elevate a spark that a previous generation was not able to? Is it just geographical, that we are in more Farvorfaneh places in the world than before?) The Avodah that we do now is not just geographically different or quantitatively greater, rather it is a qualitatively deeper, more precious battle that we are engaged in. The challenges that we face no Jewish society has ever faced and had the success that we are having.

And that is why we are bringing Moshiach.

So why are we called midgets? Maybe it is because we don't recognize our true greatness.

Wisdom

“Who is wise? One who sees what is born” (- the consequences of his actions.) - Talmud.

So here you have it, wisdom is seeing. Notice that the Talmud does not say: one who understands that which will be born, because we all do. That’s not wisdom. Wisdom is when the  future can be seen - the future is the reality in the present.  

The wise will never do something for a moment’s pleasure. For in the moment he sees the future and feels the emptiness of fleeing pleasure.

Perhaps that’s why he spends so much time studying.

(Based on Leku”s Achrei 17 Sicha 1 )

Humilty Before Whom?

I am humble.

I am humble before Hashem, yet I can’t get myself to be humble before other people.  

Moshe was humble before other people; he was not humble before Hashem.

He was humble before people - that’s why he masked the radiance of his face while speaking to others.   

Yet he removed the mask when he was speaking to Hashem. Because a good student can’t be shy.

You also can’t be shy before if you need to constantly challenge Hashem on behalf of the Jewish people.

Yet the man who stood up to Hashem was humble before people.

Now that’s humility.  

(Based on the Kli Yakar)

Boundless

If I only had one word to capture the essence of Purim I would choose boundless.

The Jews' commitment to Hashem was boundless. It defied logic. There can be no logic in being prepared to give your life for a cause. That's why there is no reason given in the Torah explaining why one should give up their life to sanctify Hashem name, because there is no reason.

The commitment was boundless.

So, when the sages instituted a celebration for Purim, they understood that the joy commandment in the Torah on the Holidays would not capture the essence of the day, so they said "a man must rejoice on Purim until he does not know the difference between cursed is Haman and blessed is Mordechai". "Until one does not know", until we break the boundary of our Knowledge, until we reach boundless Joy. 

Only boundless joy can celebrate a boundless connection.

(Torah Or – Chayav Inish) 

Self Defense

You are lying in bed in the middle of the night; you are awakened by a soft noise. you open your sleepy eyes, there is an intruder in your bedroom. Is he dangerous? You have no idea. Can you shoot him? (let's just say you believe in the second amendment).

In general, the law says, that if you think your life is in danger you may protect your life by killing the intruder.
 
The problem is that the law does not give an exact definition to what genuine danger is. At 2:00am, having just been awakened, frightened and  in the dark, it is difficult to make such an important decision in a split second. The problem is even greater: the jury sitting in judgment may not understand the threat you felt at that moment. Sitting in the safety of the court house they may feel that you used too much force.

So the bottom line is that the law leaves you on your own in the dark, literally.

Here is what the Talmud says:
If someone is in your bedroom (as long as he is not trying to escape) you can kill him. Because the intruder expects you to be there, you can assume that he is prepared to use force, you therefore have the right to protect yourself.

Now take a look at this interesting detail:
If you find an intruder in a place were he does not expect to see you, such as a place of business after business hours, you may not kill the intruder. The reason for this is, that since the intruder did not expect you to be there you can't assume that the intruder is prepared to use violence against you. Therefore you have no right to harm him.

The True You

People usually define themselves by their talents; the intellectual likes to think of himself as a thinker, the good hearted as kind, etc.

The problem is that these are talents not the essence. We posses them but they are not the true I; they are the garments we put on to look and feel good. When you want to discover someone's true personality, you must dig beneath the surface. You don't know your friend until you see him in a bad mood and under pressure. 

The self can only be discovered, according to Chasidic Philosophy, when the talents are hidden. To figure out who she really is, the intellectual must look at her self when she is not able to think properly, how does she react then? The good hearted person must look at himself when his kindness does not shine; only then can the essence express itself without the filter of the talents.

When we say to ourselves "I am not acting myself" we mean to say "I am not acting the way I like to define myself". For only when you are outside the comfort zone of your talented self can you meet your true self.

It is scary to meet the self. We are afraid to even look; were afraid to discover what we will find under the hood of our personalities.

Yet, when we do just that, when we find ourselves forced to do something way out of our league of expertise and comfort, we get to meet our true personality that is so much deeper and more profound then what we expected.

This then is the beauty of exile. When we don’t understand that G-dlyness is the true reality, when we are in love with the world and not with the divine, when the qualities of our soul are hidden, only then can our essence emerge. Only then can we be assured that our commitment to Hashem and his Torah is not a hobby that we engage in because were good at it, rather it's our essence. 

Only after we demonstrate that our essence is connect to Hashem  under all circumstances  are we worthy of receving the Torah. Only then can we be assured that the essence of our soul, revealed during the Egyptian exile, Is awake and listening to the word of Hashem. 

(inspired by Leku"s shmos vol. 16 sicha of Shmos - 24 Teves)