Dirah Betachtonim

What is the reason Hashem created the world?

To show His powers.

Atzilut enough.

His creations should recognize Him.

Atzilut enough.

To have a dwelling place in the world.

Hashem said Basi Legani.

The decree that Rome can't go to Syria.

The Mitzvos the Avos did were Ruchos.

Yaacov and the Maklos.

Deeper a Taavah.

Transcends reason.

Itche Meir

Today, Sunday the nineteenth of Iyar, is the Yarzehit of Rabbi Itche Meir Kagen. Itche Meir was a special person, his passing left a gap in my heart. I didn’t know him personally I exchanged just a few sentences with him, but from when I studied in Detroit to his passing a year and a half later I was privileged to spend time at his Farbrengen's, and watching him Learn and Daven and live his life.

I was at the Ohel the Shabbos before he passed away. Rabbi New from Montreal brought a group of people to spend shabbos at the ohel and Rabbi Kagen came to Farbreng. It was an awesome shabbos. Awesome, as in the word "awe".

On Sunday morning, back in Morisstown Rabbi Wolff approached me and with a pained look on his face he asked me if I was at the Ohel for Shabbos. When I told him I was, he shook his head from side to side in pain.

I don't remember who exactly informed me of the car accident, but I can tell you that it left a hole in my heart.

I remember myself sitting in Zal with a pen and paper trying to capture what I was feeling at those terrible moments. I wasn't able to, I didn’t write a single word.

Later I went to Fishey's room to ask him to give me a ride to the Levayeh. Fishey was in the middle of Davening, he was wearing Tefilin and a hat without a Jacket. I stepped into the room Fishey just hugged me. I felt connected to someone else feeling the same pain.

Standing at the Levayeh I could not believe that the experience we had the previous day was over, never to happen again. The world was less alive, orphaned of a great Chosid. And roll model.

To me, Itche Meir was a symbol of life. Just watching him walk around, or learning Chasidus or Rambam, going to the mikvah at 5:45am, you can see that this man has a mission, a fire in his heart, an urgency in his blood. This man was truly and fully alive.

I close my eyes this Sunday morning, eight years later and I find myself siting by the Ohel on Shabbos Selichos with Itche Meir. Itche Meir is Farbrenging with Moshe Traxlere's Bale'Batim, He is talking to them as if they were Bochurim, when Itche Meir spoke you understood, he had away with words, and a way with Chasidus and the Chasidishe lifestyle.

So I am sitting at the table and Itche Meir is talking about "Tekios". He tells them that after a Shliach delivers his polished speech on Rosh Hsashonoh, when he throws his Talis over his head and cry's "Lamnatzeach livney korach mizmor", he is no longer with them in the Chabad house, He is in 770 with the Rebbe.

At the same occasion Itche Meir was talking about the Mamar that was printed for that Shabbos Selichos, the Mamar of "Atem Nitzavim" 5722, it's a fasinating Mamar. It turns out that it’s the first Mamar that he heard from the Rebbe.

In the Mamar the Rebbe explaines the verse "as a lion he will roar", contrasting a bull who is satisfied with his grain to a lion who is never satisfied the more he has the greater the roar and need for even more. As the prophet writes "will a lion roar in the forest if it does not have prey?" the more the lion has, the more "giluy elokus" the greater his desire.

Itche Meir was the embodiment of this Mamar. Always full of energy never satisfied always bursting with action life in serving Hashem.

Significance.

To writers, there is nothing more significant then writing. To the writer, writing is more important then anything else he can do. It is more important then making money or having fun, relaxing or taking a jog.

All writers struggle to explain their passion for writing. There are books that collect essays trying to articulate the reason why anyone would give up everything else just to sit alone in a room deciding where to put the comma, where to brake the sentence.

To me writing creates significance. When I write something down, when I put in the effort to spell it out, it is important. The words capture a seemingly passing insignificant moment and portray it as something critically important.

I don’t have control over many aspects of my day. What I can control is my reaction to them. A car passes by me and someone is nice enough to wave and say hello, that’s nice but unimportant. If I capture that moment vividly and with great detail, then in a year from now going back and looking into my notebook, I read that description, and that moment becomes the most important, significant and memorable part of that day or maybe of that whole month.

So I write to create significance, I how that today, the sixteenth of Iyar, there was something on my mind, something important enough to write down.

Now, in the blogging era I don’t even have to convince someone – an editor – that my writing is interesting and marketable. All I need to do is click a few buttons and my writing can be accessed from anywhere in the world. Now, that is very significant.

Chasidus explains that every Mitzvah we perform ads spiritual light in Atzilut. Every Mitzvah we do creates change and adds light, We can’t see this light, but there is a realm where the act is of great significance.

I spend a few hours, I pour my soul out on paper I post it on my blog. Walking home I don’t see any change in the world around me, but I know that there is a sphere where I did make a difference, I accomplished something beautiful. This can be accessed anywhere in the world all you need is the right equipment.

Darkness

The past weeks we discussed how the darkness doesn't really darken. It only hides from our perspective. Not from G-d's eye view. Tonight we will try to uncover meaning in darkness. Not just transcending or overcoming darkness, but to get to the bottom of darkness itself.
What is a greater feat; doing something or holding back? Imagine yourself talking to someone. You're driving a point that's close to your heart. You're just about to drive it home. You're excited, animated and your whole body is in the talking. Stop. Stop talking now. Is it easy? Holding back is sometimes harder then doing it.
There is a tremendous advantage to be able to control and stop yourself. To put it in the words of a great Kabbalist "Just as G-d has the power of infinity, so to does he have the power of finite. For if you will say that G-d doesn't have the power of finite, then you've diminished His Perfectness". Just like G-d has infinite power so to can he limit Himself and contract and contain Himself. "G-d is Higher than High ad infinitum and He's Lower than Low till no end."
A good example might be this: How do you measure the strength of a particular light? Like saying this light is stronger then that one, how would you measure that? By seeing how far the light reaches. So if you want to see how great G-d is you must look how far He reaches. So the fact that there can be world's of infinite G-dly light, is that anything extraordinary for G-d? That's in His ballpark. In His element. Where do we see how great G-d is? When He makes a world that's so far and so dark and His light shines through that too, that's amazing.
A similar idea we can say about our souls. Why does the soul come down to this world? Because to be G-dly in Paradise doesn't take to much. When the soul does that down here, now that's an accomplishment.
So basically darkness brings out the best in us.
But have we really uncovered anything positive in darkness itself? We've only said that darkness brings more light but does that mean there's any good to darkness?
Let us take a deeper look into light and beauty and infinity. We assume that anything good and positive is the best way. That's the ultimate. The problem with that is, G-d Isn't infinite or good or bright or beautiful. He's beyond all that. He's non-definable. Or as the Kabbalist would call Him "The One with no End" or "The Simplest in the extreme of Simplicity".
Light doesn't tell me that. Because He's beyond light. Holiness doesn't tell me that. He's beyond holiness. Spirituality doesn't tell me that. He's beyond the spiritual. So if you want to glimpse G-d, His Essence, it won't help to look at His Light. He's in the darkness.
A little deeper. How is it that everything in this world looks self sufficient? Everything is saying: Nothing created me, nothing makes me existent now and I don't need anything to exist. I make myself! How does anything get this mindset? If everything has a source and creator, than how is it possible that something gave it a feeling of total independence? It's impossible for anything to impart something which it itself doesn't have. Can water produce a fire? Can a mind produce an apple? Can I teach someone about physics if I don't even know what physics means? Can I make something feel totally independent if I myself am totally dependent on what made me?
I guess it must have been Something that nothing created It. G-d. So in reality you may find G-d closer in the darkness than in the light.
They say a story of a young man who learned in the Lubavitch Yeshivah, Tomchei Temimim. He was someone who constantly worked on himself. What we mean by that is, he was constantly working on his self control and trying to become a better person. He worked so hard it ended up taking a toll on his body and in his forties he was already on his deathbed. He turned to his friends and said he would give up all the years of labor and work, just to live one more day to be able to put Teffilin on even just one more time. They responded if not for all those years of labor he would never have appreciated Teffilin so much and said that.
Most people think that the holier one is and the more righteous one is, the closer one is to G-d. In truth he's only closer to G-d's light. If you want to connect to G-d Essentially, do a physical Mitzvah.

Love. Like Fire, Like Water

Love is the desire to connect. When you love, you want to connect to your beloved in every possible way.

There are two general categories of love. One is the "Love like water". You feel yourself, you feel that you want to connect. That is a love likened to water. Water connects, when you pour water onto flour you get one piece of dough, the water connects all of the individual "pieces" of flour and creates one entity.

Rabbi Elazar Hakalir, the great first century sage and poet, authored many of the most beautiful and poetic prayers that we say until this day. In a beautiful prayer he asks Hashem to "remember the father drawn to you like water" referring to Avraham's great love.

There is another category of love. A love where you don't feel yourself, You don't exist. The beloved is all you can feel, there is a fire burning in your heart, you and your needs are out of the picture.

Fire takes things apart. Mimondies teaches that every physical object is composed of four elements, fire water air and earth. When fire consumes something it decomposes the four elements that make up the object. The elements of fire water and air go up in the smoke, while the element of earth becomes ashes.

When there is a fire burning in your heart you can’t feel yourself. It burns you up. You “decompose” of your selfishness. The flame surges upward, you are drawn to your beloved with a selfless love.

Awaken your heart every day during prayer, ignite the fire in your soul, lose yourself in the words of prayer, but remember that fire can’t burn indefinitely, a human can’t go on forever without feeling himself and his own needs and desires.

The love like water on the other hand can last. You could love Hashem while feeling yourself. You sense that you will only be able to be happy when you are with him. You feel a yearning and a desire to be close to him.

Likutei Torah Parshas Behar

Neshamah

Havayah and Elokim.



Last week we talked about how Havayah is the Giver. Elokim is the Concealer.



The Neshamah comes from Shem Havayah.



Ki Chelek Hav' Amoi.



Angels called Elokim.



Difference between blowing and speaking.



Essentially the difference is blowing comes from you. Speaking is from the surface.



Jews a part of Hashem.



Angels- G-dliness more revealed yet only creations.



Neshamahs have all ten sefiros like Havayah.



Explain Yud the nekudah.



Kay hispashtus oirech and roichav.



Vav hamshacha.



Kay hispashtus.



Like a rope.



Boruch atta Havayah Eloikeinu...



Dah ma lmalah mimach.

The Teacher

Here is the problem.

The most important thing to understand is the genesis. A scientist who is studying the origin of the universe said: I have no interest in the universe the moment after the big bang.

In Chasidus, the beginning of the creation is the first Tzimtzum, The first contraction or concealment that left an empty space. The concealment was absolute, after that there was a "line" of light that was drawn into the empty space.

Chasidus spends a lot of time discussing the first contraction. I think that one of the deataile that we are trying to understand is how the light after the Tzimtzum compare to the light before the tzimtzum. We are trying to understand the nature of this new light.

So, the classic example that Chasidus gives is the example of the teacher. Now, the teacher is infinitely greater then the student. Anything the teacher tells the student will totally confuse him.

So the teacher has to totally black out all of his thinking on the issue, he is left with total darkness. After that a residue of his previous insight will appear in his mind, this insight can be comprehended by the student.

Now to me this example itself needs an example to explain it. What kind of teacher is infinitely greater then a student? How will the new light appear out of the blue?
~~~
Kfar Chabad, the Yeshivah.

It’s eight o’clock in the evening, you enter the lobby, the marble floor is a bit dusty, you turn to your left to the wide brown stairs and you go up to the Zal. You open the door and you get this shock. The first thing that hits you is a burst of brightness. The very wide, even longer hall, the ceiling about sixty feet high, the sounds of passionate study overwhelm you. The room is bright, as if to say that the idea’s and truths being studied and absorbed in this room bring light to the students and to the world at large.

On the left side of the room in the middle just by one of the legendary corners sits Reb Zalman. Two students are sitting at the table in front of him, as he shares an esoteric idea, perhaps about the mystery of G-dliness and the secrets of creation, or maybe the mystery of the human spirit.

Three years after I had the privilege of studying in the Kfar Chabad Yeshivash, I had returned for one night. I had the opurtunity to sit in on Reb Zalman's class, I’ve never had the chance before, this was my first time

Luckily for me the class was on a fundamental topic in Chasidus. This was a topic that I was somewhat familiar with, though it still needed a lot of clarification. I was about to experience the clarity of Reb Zalman’s “CHUSH HASBOROH” the talent to explain, to illuminate, to clarify, to breathe life into the topic, to make it come alive.

Reb Zalman began to speak in his Russian accent. The accent is a mystery, after all he lived in Israel for (all, or nearly) all his life, but he has that authentic accent that transforms you from the year 1998 in the modern state of Israel to the town of Lubavitch were the Chasidim knew nothing other then the yearning and love for Hashem, to live with and experience him through study and prayer.

Reb Zalman Jumps straight to the point. He starts to explain the famous Chasidic parable. He begins to depict the characters. Here is the teacher, struggling to convey his wisdom to his student. Here is the student who really wants to understand. But anything the teacher will say will fly right above his head. He just won’t get it.

The teacher is a product of a lifetime of contemplation and meditation on the teachings of Chasidus. He is on the level of “YICHUDAH ILAAH”. When he looks outside he does not see the beautiful world, what he sees is the awesomeness of the creator. His mind tells him to see the real truth. All of creation is renewed every moment; it’s being brought into existence by the word of Hashem.

The world is nothing. All it is, is an expression of G-dliness. In the words of the Torah “there is nothing beside him”.

The student is just beginning to take his first baby steps in the Chasidic philosophy. There is no way that he can appreciate this experience. He knows the world intimately that is his reality, the teacher is just out of touch.

The teacher must therefore block out his own point of view. He must adopt the perspective of the student. He must acknowledge that there is a real world. He must view the world through the eyes of the student.

After talking to the student for a few minutes, he can begin to enlighten the student. He can begin explaining how the great and beautiful and very real world is dependent on Hashem. He is the one who creates it, and He ultimately controls it. This perspective is called “YI-CHU-DAH TA-TA-AH”.

This newfound perspective, although very different from the original view, is an outgrowth from the previous teacher’s original understanding. [the first perspective will acknowledge that if theoretically the existence of the creation were a true reality, it would be dependent on Hashem who is it’s source.]

So there it is, in Reb Zalman’s words. I think I am one baby step closer to getting this parable. One thing is for sure, here is a man who struggles to understand, to experiences, he is a true student of Chasidus. That is what makes a great teacher.

Havayah Hu HaElokim

Hashem has 2 names or descriptions. One is Havayah- the Giver, Creator, Infinite, Shining One. The second is Elokim- the Concealor, Confiner, Holder, and Hider.

And they're One. How?

Have you ever played hide and seek? Have you ever hidden so well noone found you? Have you hidden so well you couldn't find yourself? So tell me can G-d really hide from Himself?

The truth is I don't think that's a correct example. Because we're not talking about G-d hiding himself. We're talking about G-d's Restriciting Power concealing His Revealing Power. So a better example is, if you cover your head with your hand, you haven't covered your head. Because one part of you can't conceal another part of you.

Like a teacher giving a class. He's talking a very deep subject. Maybe like Einstein teaching you the theory of relativity. He gives an example. You're standing on a train. The train is traveling east to west. You're walking from west to east. Which way are you going? Now, you see - in yor mind - trains and traveling. In Einstein's mind he sees the theory. And he sees it in the train. The train dosen't hide anything from Einstein. He's the one who's giving the example.

I don't know relativity. So I don't know if the train is even an analogy for relativity. In a real analogy, there is everything of the idea, just in a different form. And that's why the lecturer see's the idea in the analogy. And after a while the student too can understand as well as the teacher. He can see the idea in it's essence, not just the example.

In reality the analogy is to bring the point down. To reveal it. If Einstein talks his language, who would understand? It wouldn't be revealation at all.

In order for there to be me and you, G-d had to conceal His Light. But the purpose was that we should relate to it. And after a while get the essence as well.

How?

Pain

Why did the soul come down from its pleasurable and comfortable abode to this painful and confining world? This question is repeated countless times in Chasidic discourses.

This Shabbat we sat down to study Chasidus before Davening. We opened the discourse and this question came up, again.

[The Temach Tzedek in explaining the Chasidic meaning behind the mitzvah of Tziyzys, brings three introductions. The first introduction is the explanation of why the soul is forced to come into this world and suffer so much pain.]

Now, the problem was, everyone around the table knew the answer to the question. And so everyone around the table began to give their ideas. For anybody who has been minimally exposed to Chasidus knows the answer to this basic question.

Or maybe I should say answers. To make the world holy. To make the world a dwelling place for Hashem. To elevate the soul to greater heights through the challenging experience of 70 – 80 years of life on this planet.

On some level the answer is not the point. It’s the question that is important.

You see, we are trying to understand, and perhaps relate to the pain of the soul. As we all know there is no answer that will eliminate pain.

So we need to keep reminding ourselves that our life in this world is not a vacation, it’s torture for the soul. The soul is jailed, it can’t express itself as it would like. It’s blind; it can’t see Hashem as it once did.

So we must stay focused. Remember that we are paying a high price in pain for the opportunity to be here, let’s make sure it’s worth while.

Sit down once a week – open a Mamar ask yourself why am I here? is all the pain worth it?

Freedom

The mind and the heart are opposites. They experience the world around them very differently.

The most important criteria for the emotions of the heart is the self, “what does that mean for me”. I can say “that does not feel right for me”, and it will suffice, no further explanation is needed. If you’ll press further and ask me “why not?” I’ll think of you as insensitive and judgmental. After all it doesn’t feel right to me.

The idea may be right or wrong, the food may be healthy or unhealthy the relationship may be beneficial or destructive, all that doesn’t matter. What matters is how do I feel about it.

The mind operates drastically different.

I hate the idea, it makes me nervous but my mind is objective and I must admit that it is the truth.

My heart is passionate; it pulls me toward its desires. It does not rest nor does it get distracted, it keeps pulling me like a mighty river rushing to the sea.

My mind is cold, I understand what’s right, yet there is no fire, no passion, nothing tugging at me to actually do that which I understand to be beneficial.

While the mind operates, while the person is deep in thought or meditation, there is no emotion. The scientist can’t get emotionally involved in the experiment, well, neither can the philosopher, or the Chossid deep in meditation. To be sure there is a time for emotion, but the time is not on the midst of the intellectual process.

When the heart is burning with emotion the mind is nowhere to be found. Try reasoning with someone who is in love, who is emotionally involved, you’re wasting your time. The heart is on fire, you are trying to extinguish a blaze with a few drops of water.

In Chasidus the love to G-d that we arouse through meditation during prayer is felt after the mediation. Although the mind has the power to awaken the heart, it can only do so after it leaves the room, it must allow the heart to digest the residue of the mind. When the mind itself is at work, the heart is bored it feels left out of the discussion.

Now here is where I must be cautious not to fall into slavery.

You see, the worst form of slavery is when I am a slave to my instincts. I understand that a particular behavior is wrong and terribly destructive, I think about it for many hours a day, yet I can’t get myself to stop the terrible behavior.

Since only a trickle of the mind comes down through the “throat” to the heart to inspire, the trickle can easily be interrupted by the “pharoh” who resides in the “neck”, waiting to enslave, to control me. To control what will make it’s way to my heart.

Freedom isn’t easy. Most people in the history of the world preferred the familiar state of slavery over the pain of fighting for freedom.

I must control my heart by ensuring free passage to the fragile yet critical trickle of the mind to the most important part of me, my heart.

(Mammar Pesach 5719)