Itche Meir

Today, Sunday the nineteenth of Iyar, is the Yarzehit of Rabbi Itche Meir Kagen. Itche Meir was a special person, his passing left a gap in my heart. I didn’t know him personally I exchanged just a few sentences with him, but from when I studied in Detroit to his passing a year and a half later I was privileged to spend time at his Farbrengen's, and watching him Learn and Daven and live his life.

I was at the Ohel the Shabbos before he passed away. Rabbi New from Montreal brought a group of people to spend shabbos at the ohel and Rabbi Kagen came to Farbreng. It was an awesome shabbos. Awesome, as in the word "awe".

On Sunday morning, back in Morisstown Rabbi Wolff approached me and with a pained look on his face he asked me if I was at the Ohel for Shabbos. When I told him I was, he shook his head from side to side in pain.

I don't remember who exactly informed me of the car accident, but I can tell you that it left a hole in my heart.

I remember myself sitting in Zal with a pen and paper trying to capture what I was feeling at those terrible moments. I wasn't able to, I didn’t write a single word.

Later I went to Fishey's room to ask him to give me a ride to the Levayeh. Fishey was in the middle of Davening, he was wearing Tefilin and a hat without a Jacket. I stepped into the room Fishey just hugged me. I felt connected to someone else feeling the same pain.

Standing at the Levayeh I could not believe that the experience we had the previous day was over, never to happen again. The world was less alive, orphaned of a great Chosid. And roll model.

To me, Itche Meir was a symbol of life. Just watching him walk around, or learning Chasidus or Rambam, going to the mikvah at 5:45am, you can see that this man has a mission, a fire in his heart, an urgency in his blood. This man was truly and fully alive.

I close my eyes this Sunday morning, eight years later and I find myself siting by the Ohel on Shabbos Selichos with Itche Meir. Itche Meir is Farbrenging with Moshe Traxlere's Bale'Batim, He is talking to them as if they were Bochurim, when Itche Meir spoke you understood, he had away with words, and a way with Chasidus and the Chasidishe lifestyle.

So I am sitting at the table and Itche Meir is talking about "Tekios". He tells them that after a Shliach delivers his polished speech on Rosh Hsashonoh, when he throws his Talis over his head and cry's "Lamnatzeach livney korach mizmor", he is no longer with them in the Chabad house, He is in 770 with the Rebbe.

At the same occasion Itche Meir was talking about the Mamar that was printed for that Shabbos Selichos, the Mamar of "Atem Nitzavim" 5722, it's a fasinating Mamar. It turns out that it’s the first Mamar that he heard from the Rebbe.

In the Mamar the Rebbe explaines the verse "as a lion he will roar", contrasting a bull who is satisfied with his grain to a lion who is never satisfied the more he has the greater the roar and need for even more. As the prophet writes "will a lion roar in the forest if it does not have prey?" the more the lion has, the more "giluy elokus" the greater his desire.

Itche Meir was the embodiment of this Mamar. Always full of energy never satisfied always bursting with action life in serving Hashem.