Darkness

The past weeks we discussed how the darkness doesn't really darken. It only hides from our perspective. Not from G-d's eye view. Tonight we will try to uncover meaning in darkness. Not just transcending or overcoming darkness, but to get to the bottom of darkness itself.
What is a greater feat; doing something or holding back? Imagine yourself talking to someone. You're driving a point that's close to your heart. You're just about to drive it home. You're excited, animated and your whole body is in the talking. Stop. Stop talking now. Is it easy? Holding back is sometimes harder then doing it.
There is a tremendous advantage to be able to control and stop yourself. To put it in the words of a great Kabbalist "Just as G-d has the power of infinity, so to does he have the power of finite. For if you will say that G-d doesn't have the power of finite, then you've diminished His Perfectness". Just like G-d has infinite power so to can he limit Himself and contract and contain Himself. "G-d is Higher than High ad infinitum and He's Lower than Low till no end."
A good example might be this: How do you measure the strength of a particular light? Like saying this light is stronger then that one, how would you measure that? By seeing how far the light reaches. So if you want to see how great G-d is you must look how far He reaches. So the fact that there can be world's of infinite G-dly light, is that anything extraordinary for G-d? That's in His ballpark. In His element. Where do we see how great G-d is? When He makes a world that's so far and so dark and His light shines through that too, that's amazing.
A similar idea we can say about our souls. Why does the soul come down to this world? Because to be G-dly in Paradise doesn't take to much. When the soul does that down here, now that's an accomplishment.
So basically darkness brings out the best in us.
But have we really uncovered anything positive in darkness itself? We've only said that darkness brings more light but does that mean there's any good to darkness?
Let us take a deeper look into light and beauty and infinity. We assume that anything good and positive is the best way. That's the ultimate. The problem with that is, G-d Isn't infinite or good or bright or beautiful. He's beyond all that. He's non-definable. Or as the Kabbalist would call Him "The One with no End" or "The Simplest in the extreme of Simplicity".
Light doesn't tell me that. Because He's beyond light. Holiness doesn't tell me that. He's beyond holiness. Spirituality doesn't tell me that. He's beyond the spiritual. So if you want to glimpse G-d, His Essence, it won't help to look at His Light. He's in the darkness.
A little deeper. How is it that everything in this world looks self sufficient? Everything is saying: Nothing created me, nothing makes me existent now and I don't need anything to exist. I make myself! How does anything get this mindset? If everything has a source and creator, than how is it possible that something gave it a feeling of total independence? It's impossible for anything to impart something which it itself doesn't have. Can water produce a fire? Can a mind produce an apple? Can I teach someone about physics if I don't even know what physics means? Can I make something feel totally independent if I myself am totally dependent on what made me?
I guess it must have been Something that nothing created It. G-d. So in reality you may find G-d closer in the darkness than in the light.
They say a story of a young man who learned in the Lubavitch Yeshivah, Tomchei Temimim. He was someone who constantly worked on himself. What we mean by that is, he was constantly working on his self control and trying to become a better person. He worked so hard it ended up taking a toll on his body and in his forties he was already on his deathbed. He turned to his friends and said he would give up all the years of labor and work, just to live one more day to be able to put Teffilin on even just one more time. They responded if not for all those years of labor he would never have appreciated Teffilin so much and said that.
Most people think that the holier one is and the more righteous one is, the closer one is to G-d. In truth he's only closer to G-d's light. If you want to connect to G-d Essentially, do a physical Mitzvah.